Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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