you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
