Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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