Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
