We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
