Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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