suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize