How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
So apparently I’m into choking now
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
