shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize