Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
