fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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