Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
