need another drink. this is the easiest way
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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