That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Randomize
