the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
