You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Randomize
