Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
