Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
