how can u be prego again
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
