I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
