WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
