I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize