Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
