And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
