there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
