Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
