how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
