what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
