The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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