thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
do herpes really smell.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
