My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
