i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
