Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Randomize
