I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
