WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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