I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
