I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Randomize