hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
