God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
