I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
