Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
