Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
