Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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