If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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