i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
