Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
