dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
