i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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