she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I understand Curling. That high.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
