He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
