I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
