the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize