the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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