I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
