Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
