I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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