if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize