we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
