I should be sponsored by Trojan
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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