honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
