all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
