Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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