i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
