I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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