we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
